Drive-Thru Terror – Village Idiots Are On the Lose

Apparently even more villages than is usual have lost their idiots this week in the DFW area. And for me, they apparently find drive-thru lines a good place to accentuate their ignorance.

Case in point 1– we have a Chick Fi Lay right on the way from my home to my office. They know me by name. I visit nearly daily for tea or breakfast and sometimes lunch. They, like all fast food establishments, have a drive-thru line for autos.

They, like most fast food places we all frequent, have a parking lot with CLEARLY defined parking spaces at a obvious angle the place of business intends for cars to travel through said parking lot. In many cases they have separate entrance and exit points that also coincide with the direction of the parking space stripes I just mentioned. Usually these places also have at least one very visible NO ENTRANCE/EXIT ONLY sign sometimes accompanied with “guidance cones” helping out those that just can’t figure it out. Anyone with a brain can easily see that entering the parking lot going the wrong way in a feeble attempt to circumvent the drive-thru line ahead of others or for the sake of being a lazy butt is simply not going to work with cars coming head on trying to leave through the EXIT!

So here I am pulling into the parking lot heading towards the drive thru while listening to “Fake Jerry” (Jerry Jones) on my favorite AM morning show. Coming at me is a lady GOING THE WRONG WAY via the EXIT ONLY entrance. On top of that guess what… guessed it….our little Missy is playing Chatty Katty on the flippin‘ phone.

I am forced to stop in my tracks and a quick game of chicken ensues. I just sit there and stare here down with my hands lifted off the steering wheel as if to say, “Really!? I mean seriously? Are we that stupid as a society now?”

Feeling four of my five of my fingers desperately wanting to curl up leaving one standing rigid for her view I fought back the flesh and just held my ground feeling my look of exasperation was enough for her this bright, glorious Monday morning.

Her response?

She stopped her car, looked at me angrily, raised her hands at me and mouthed a few choice words that I am sure included the likes of “Lord I pray this man is truly blessed today…may his children succeed in all they do and may his business flourish like no other in the future…Amen.”

I refused to budge as I waited in line. So she spent the next 60 seconds slowly maneuvering her car between mine and the rest with just inches to spare. I have to admit I laughed out loud watching her respond to the other two cars that honked at her behind me and further relished her hilarious attempt at having to make an eight-point u-turn that took her forever and backed up the line even more.

Oh yea, she did all of this without ever putting down her phone.

Guess she was letting her village know just exactly where she was.

(case in point 2 coming soon)

One thought on “Drive-Thru Terror – Village Idiots Are On the Lose

  1. I run in to these butt cracks every now and then. I do just like you. Except I actually look at them and shake my head in a “NO” fashion and wave my hands at them to back it up.And then as I exert my right-of-way, I give them the “some people, it’s a shame you are allowed to breed” shake of the head with the slight smirk and half closed eye look.This usually results in a slight lowering of their head (like a pack dog does to it’s alpha male when submitting) and they begin the awkward backing up, 8-12 point turn, waving the “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention and I really apologize to all of you in line for acting like a butt crack” hand (also known as the “my bad” wave).Now, lest you think me an arrogant SOB for reacting like this… I’ve been the “I can cut line” butt crack a few times my self and the drive-thru line society has properly chastened me. 🙂 Oh and I also got cussed out for pulling in to a handicapped parking slot once. I never made that mistake again… 😉


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